People Who COULD Replace Alex Trebek on ‘Jeopardy!’

That’s “could,” not “should.”

image by author

Donald Trump: Gameshow hosting experience, familiar with paying people off for asking questions.

Neil deGrasse Tyson: Scientist, expert at providing answers nobody’s asked for.

The GEICO Gecko: Trusted, astute, due for a career boost.

Kanye West: Self-declared god, presumably omniscient, saves $$$ on cue cards. (Bonus: Possible Kanye West remix of the Jeopardy theme!)

A Hologram of Robert Kardashian: No salary required, experience explaining Double Jeopardy. (Bonus: Possible Kanye West remix of the Jeopardy theme!)

Terry Gross: No more awkward chats with contestants.

Borat: Way more awkward chats with contestants. Nice!

Bull from Night Court: I loved that guy, what happened to him?

Your Mom’s Facebook Friend Diane: Denies all correct answers to science, social studies, and math categories saving $$$ on prize payouts.

My Toddler: Expert in oddly-phrased questions such as “Who is me?” and “Why is green?” and “What is how?”

Olivia Colman: Is there anything she can’t do?

Prince Charles: There must be something he can do…

Baby Yoda: Just look at him! Look!

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson: Requires all answers to be in the form of the question “Can you smell…”

Andy Cohen and Rotating Casts of Real Housewives: Admit it, you’d watch.

IBM’s Watson: It beat Ken Jennings. ‘Nuff said.



Adam Campbell-Schmitt

A writer and editor living, laughing, and loving in the NYC suburbs. Twitter: @adamcswrites