We’re an AMERICAN Restaurant and We Only Do FULL-CONTACT Delivery

Adam Campbell-Schmitt
3 min readApr 2, 2021

No masks. No gloves. But a whole lotta Justin.

image by author

This piece originally appeared in the Gut Bomb Humor Newsletter, a biweekly roundup of funny food writing. Subscribe at gutbombhumor.com

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Adam Campbell-Schmitt

A writer and editor living, laughing, and loving in the NYC suburbs. Twitter: @adamcswrites