Wear a Chin Mask, Dipshit!
We must protect our chins from COVID-19 at all costs!
So I’m walking outside this morning to get my daily Dunkin’ fix, breathing the fresh spring air into my unencumbered nostrils and sucking orange creamsicle-flavored e-cig vapor through my properly socially-distanced mouth, and what do I see? A bunch of you assclowns waltzing around without any protection! What in the hell are you thinking?
Get a freakin’ mask and cover the most important part of your freakin’ face: the chin!
Sure, I also see a lot of people wearing masks that cover their nose, mouth, and chin, which — according to my uncle who golfs with a doctor — is probably overkill. Obviously, we can whip our masks up over our mouths and noses when we see the virus coming at us. Like how SWAT teams keep their bulletproof vests in the back of the van just in case they start getting shot. That’s good old fashioned common sense. You’re an adult and you can make the best judgment as to whether an invisible, life-threatening parasite is on its way into your respiratory system. This is still America, after all.
Look, does it completely suck that the economy has shut down and people are losing their jobs and entire industries are tanking with little hope of recovery? Sure. Does it completely blow that TOOL postponed their spring tour? One hundred percent.
