Thank You for Dicking Around at Work
A letter to our loyal readers.
We couldn’t do it without you. Every day, our dedicated team of writers and editors produces engaging articles, eye-catching image galleries, and 45-second videos of stock images and bullet points from said articles, all so that you’ll have something to distract you while you’re supposed to be working. The fact is, we in the publishing industry prepared poorly for the digital age, underselling advertisements and shirking paywalls to our own detriment, both financially and reputationally. Without you dicking around on the internet all day, we couldn’t spend our nine-to-fives making that content for you to spend your nine-to-fives reading, watching, and (most importantly) clicking on. And for that, we thank you.
You make it all possible: Those rabbit-hole “related story” links deep into the annals of our content farm, every listicle of screenshotted tweets, every slideshow of aged and forgotten celebrities and their current whereabouts, every hastily constructed quiz that tells you which Golden Girl you are based on which Pokémon you’d bang. And who can forget the relatable roundups of .gifs? O, the .gifs! They’re the .gifs that keep on giving. See? It’s those kinds of first-thought jokes you can’t get anywhere else that keeps you coming back to our casually-conceived, SEO-optimized, blog-style content during business hours…
