I’m a Pineapple and I Belong on Pizza

This piece originally appeared in the Gut Bomb Humor Newsletter, a biweekly roundup of funny food writing. Subscribe at gutbombhumor.com

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I wasn’t prepared for it to be so cruel.

All I want — all I’ve ever wanted since I was a budding bromeliad — is to be on a pizza.

More from Adam Campbell-Schmitt

A writer and editor living, laughing, and loving in the NYC suburbs. Twitter: @adamcswrites

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.