I’m a Pineapple and I Belong on Pizza

Adam Campbell-Schmitt
3 min readMar 19, 2021
image by author

This piece originally appeared in the Gut Bomb Humor Newsletter, a biweekly roundup of funny food writing. Subscribe at gutbombhumor.com

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I wasn’t prepared for it to be so cruel.

All I want — all I’ve ever wanted since I was a budding bromeliad — is to be on a pizza.

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Adam Campbell-Schmitt

A writer and editor living, laughing, and loving in the NYC suburbs. Twitter: @adamcswrites