5 Ways to Give Your Boring-Ass Brand a Relatable Personality on Social Media

Photo by Omkar Patyane from Pexels

Millennials. Gen-Z. Teens, tweens, toddlers. Your future customers are all using social media to interact with the people and, most importantly, brands they care about on a daily basis. So why should they care about your brand? The fact is unless you can rise above the clutter, skirt assumptions about soulless corporations, and generally come off as “cool,” you don’t stand a chance at earning any cache (let alone cash) from these sought-after demographics. But don’t worry—thanks to pioneers like Wendy’s, Steak-umm, and MoonPie we can create a roadmap to social media success by ripping off their tried-and-true techniques.

Here’s how to give your brand a personality on social media:

Meme yourself.

Nothing says “I understand self-obsessed internet culture” quite like making a funny picture or gif of your own logo or mascot and then writing a relatable caption. Example: If you’re a burger restaurant, post a picture of a burger that fell on the ground and write, “When ur [BRAND NAME] burger falls on the ground.” The internet will eat it up! (Hopefully, if you’re a burger chain, literally!)

Use wirdz (which is slang for “slang”).

The language of the internet evolves and mutates faster than most people can keep up — but you’re not people, you’re a multinational brand! Is your beef jerky “grunk?” You bet it is! Does it matter that that word seems to be used in only a sexual context? Only somewhat! Just tell the suits in the c-suite to trust the process and “peelax,” as the kids are saying this week!

Be an impudent little shit.

Trash talk your competitors. Call Beyoncé overrated. Tell the Pope to delete his account. Maybe even use some swear words! (With asterisks, of course. Don’t be vulgar — at least, not until another brand does it first.) The people you might piss off don’t want your products and services anyway, and the people you delight might even give your account a follow! Engagement = priceless.

Adopt a mental illness.

Are you just any frozen waffle company? No, you’re a depressed, introverted, anti-social, and by many indicators suicidal frozen waffle company! Bonus if you have your sister brands @ you to express concern over your precarious condition.

Reject capitalism.

This is about brand equity, not actual equity. Your job isn’t to sell products or make profits, it’s to buy credibility. If a celebrity shits on your product send them a year’s supply. If teens tag you in their Homecoming photos, treat them to a stretch limos for prom. If millions of Twitter users demand you bring back a beloved menu item, tell corporate to invest whatever it takes to bring it the fuck back nationwide (preferably for free on one of those national “food holidays”) so 6,000 people will come order it. Remember the old saying: You have to shun money to make money.

Congratulations! Your brand has a cool, devil-may-care persona that can’t be reined in by the marketing team and will endure as long as social media companies don’t keep driving people away from their platforms! Now get in on some saucy hashtag games, pull some photoshopped April Fools Day pranks, and watch the goodwill (again, not actual money) roll in!

A writer and editor living, laughing, and loving in the NYC suburbs.

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